martes, mayo 02, 2006

Extraído de "De cómo la gente conoce a Celso Villaflor, y de las cosas que este hace y dice"

Por David Wapner
1
"La primera vez que lo vi a Celso Villaflor fue en el salón 'Quimicome'; él estaba por leer algunos capítulos de su novela 'Las fieras', pero se hizo un espacio para saludarme, aunque no me conocía. En dos trancos que parecían palas mecánicas estuvo a mi lado y me estrechó la mano. Yo dije, 'mucho gusto en conocerte', y el respondió 'todavía estoy de turno'. Creí entender a qué aludía, pero no hice comentarios ante el temor de embarrarla. Le dije 'creí que eras gordo' y no hizo esperar su réplica, 'es que mi cuerpo lo dejo en casa, durmiendo la siesta, o comiendo un sándwich, no se. Lo que ves es mi espíritu que no pesa nada'. Nos reímos, seguros de sentirnos en sintonía, pero no pude resistirme a preguntarle '¿pero no tenés hambre?' 'La verdad que sí', respondió, 'vayamos todos a comer una pizza'. Me quedé pensando, y se lo dije: -Los espíritus no comen.Me miró con desprecio; no supe cómo tomarlo. Mejor dicho, lo tomé mal, pero tenía que disimular. Prosiguió:-El que se va a comer es mi cuerpo, a mi espíritu lo dejo sentado allí, leyendo pavadas. Total, nadie se da cuenta de nada.Me reí, por hacer un gesto; se notó el alambre de mi aparato dental."
(Martín Lamberto)
2
"Recuerdo haberme encontrado con Celso Villaflor en el club "Alternov", cuando se disponía a dar una charla sobre 'los efectos del timbalirio 'y su paradójica absoluta falsedad'. Me dijo, como al pasar, por decir algo que imaginó me podía caer bien, aunque no me conocía, 'cualquier bardo puede ser una tormenta de flores, ¿oíste?', y convencido de que me había caído simpático, se dirigió a la mesa, que compartía con Quique Rolón"
(Celsa R. Farías)
3
"Soy Celso Villaflor", me dijo, y le respondí "encantado", pero no tenía idea de quién se trataba. Una amiga me soplo que se trataba de un escritor muy conocido, que hacía poemas y cuentos, y que además se sabía de memoria unas cuantas poesías de sus amigos. Pensé en que yo también hacía versos, y le dije a mi amiga, "acerquémosnos, a lo mejor ligamos algo". "Pero si ya estamos cerca", dijo Celso Villaflor, que estaba escuchando todo, "ya se, ya se, le dije", y no supe cómo continuar. Mi amiga, que me azuzaba con pellizcos en el hombro, decía por lo bajo, pero audible para cualquiera que pasase por allí, "pero es Celso Villaflor, ¡es Celso Villaflor!", lo que el propio Celso Villaflor confirmó: "sí, soy Celso Villaflor". Ahí sí, le di la mano, y cuando la retiré pensé para mí, "he estrechado la mano de Celso Villaflor y no se ha producido ningún cambio enzimático digno de mencionar".
(Ferrando Klein)
4
"Ese que está durmiendo en una silla es Celso Villaflor; por favor no lo molestes.""¿Y por que habría de molestarlo?""Todos quieren molestar a Celso Villaflor, y no creo que seas una excepción.""No me interesa en lo más mínimo Celso Villaflor.""¿Y entonces, qué haces aquí, pibe?""Nada, pasaba.""¿No sabías que por aquí andaba Celso Villaflor?""No, no sabía.""Bueno, entonces, andalo sabiendo: ese que está allí, durmiendo como un tronco, es Celso Villaflor."
(Héctor Juan Blas)
5
"Aquel día no había ido nadie, y Celso Villaflor esperaba ser presentado a alguien; una voz dijo "allí hay uno" y me señaló a mí. Se me acercaron tres de los adláteres de Celso y con grandes gestos y voces estentóreas me saludaron, "¡llegaste justo, Celso Villaflor pide que lo conozcas!." Yo soy lerdo para reaccionar, y si me hablan fuerte, quedo mudo. El trío, al notar mi falta de reflejos, me sacudió por los hombros, "¡Celso Villaflor espera ser conocido por vos!, ¿qué te pasa?, ¿querés agua?, ¿leíste el último cuento real de Celso?" "No", solté, y dejaron escapar exclamaciones de asombro. Uno de ellos sacó del interior de una mochila un ejemplar de "Urge la apuesta" y me lo alargó. Lo ojeé a ciegas, dije "está bueno" y callé. -¡Celso! ¡Dice que está bueno!Celso Villaflor apareció al trote:-¿Así que decís que está bueno?Bajé la cabeza.-¿Está bueno? ¿Está bueno? ¿En serio que está bueno?No dije nada. Celso Villaflor consulto con sus amigos:_¿Y ahora cómo sigo?-Tenés que presentarte, no te queda otra.-¿Pero no creen que así se bastardea la esencia de "De cómo la gente conoce a Celso Villaflor y que es las cosas que este hace y dice"?-Hay que ser un poco flexible, excelso Celso, la cosa es sumar.-¿Les parece?-Confiá en nosotros.Celso se volvió hacia mí:-¿Cómo te llamás?-Armando.-¡Armando! ¡Qué tal Armando! ¿Te gustaría conocer a Celso Villaflor?Pensé: o este cree que soy estúpido, o algo le falla. Hice un tanteo:-Celso Villaflor sos vos...Se le iluminó el rostro, me estrechó la mano:-Soy Celso Villaflor. Y ahora, perdoname, me esperan en la otra punta."
(Armando Moreno)
6
"Celso Villaflor cavaba un pozo cuando llegamos en delegación dispuestos a conocerlo. No pensábamos que lo íbamos a encontrar en medio de esa tarea, nos habían dicho que Celso iba a brindar una conferencia, o una charla, o algo así, y nos vinimos preparados para ello. La cosa que esperamos a que se tomara un descanso, que nunca llegaba, Celso no dejaba de cavar y nosotros allí, a la espera de una palabra. Que nunca llegó; nos fuimos una hora más tarde, un poco frustrados, Celso Villaflor de espaldas no denotaba nada particular. Miembros de un tur que llegó al mismo sitio al día siguiente, contaron que pudieron verlo a Celso Villaflor tomando un vaso de agua al pie de la excavación. Aún así, todos coinciden en que no fue gran cosa."
(Andrea Lúmina)
7
"Conocimos a Celso Villaflor una mañana helada, era invierno y viajábamos en colectivo. Nuestra ventanilla no cerraba bien y nos moríamos de frío. Nos paramos para buscar un sitio más caliente, lo importante no era estar sentado sino evitar una otitis, a la cual nosotros somos propensos, más que el promedio de la población. Apenas nos pusimos de pie, una figura avanzó desde el fondo al grito, 'déjenme sentar, soy Celso Villaflor, encantado'. Una vez sentado, el tipo que se anunciaba como Celso Villaflor nos encara:-Yo soy Celso Villaflor y me parece que hoy bato un récord.Como no entendíamos de qué se trataba, no dijimos nada.-Digo que hoy bato un récord, pero está mal. No es así. ¿Cómo se llama, o cómo se dice cuando un escritor es conocido, o es dado a conocer, por dos, a dos personas como ustedes, que viajan en una línea de colectivo, sin intenciones de conocer a un poeta, pero no, o sí, lo conocen, de modo inesperado, porque ni siguiera imaginaban su existencia? ¿Cómo se llama?No sabíamos si responder o no; al final me anime yo:-No se.Celso Villaflor se desentendió de nosotros para abocarse a cerrar, o intentar cerrar, la ventanilla."
(Aldo Toro)
8
"No pude creer que aquel que gateaba para conseguir no se qué cosa extraviada debajo de unos cajones era Celso Villaflor. No porque no me lo imaginase haciendo ese tipo de cosas que cualquiera puede emular, sino que le dedicaba demasiado tiempo al menester. Al no obtener los resultados esperados, esto es, al no encontrar los objetos que buscaba, Celso Villaflor profería juramentos que advertían acerca de que no se habría de levantar hasta no haber logrado su propósito. Y no lo logró, puedo dar fe, no sólo porque no alcanzaba con sus manos, sino porque no había nada. Alguien me dijo después que tal acto de Villaflor era una excusa para evadirse de aquellos que desean conocerlo y así ser anotados en su libro de visitas. Yo no estoy tan seguro, y que sepan disculparme. De todos modos, lo llamé y él se dio vuelta. 'Estoy hecho', me dije, y me volví."
(Fabiana Aronson)
(Originalmente publicado, con variantes, en Mardagobio Blogo)

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